Don’s Classic Humor Bits

Your life will benefit from being methodical, systematic, and  having a businesslike  approach.  Remember what mom and dad reminded you in prayer–follow your dreams without thought of financial worthiness.  The idea is to be cheerful, helpful, be loving and this is life’s reward for happiness.  Achieve this goal, and you will find heaven on earth.

Hagar:  Didn’t you have a boyfriend?  I used to….but he turned out to be a cold fish.

Cyrus’  Idiotic Brain:  Money hoarding is evil but not to Cyrus.  He says that electronic banking was the greatest thing to come along in this world of finance.  Maybe so.  Maybe not.  He insists its the second greatest way to transfer money from his bank account.  So I asked him what was the first way?  He said:  “Being married.”

Beetle Bailey:  Pvt. Bailey is in love with the general’s secretary and his affection is rewarded.  She asks him if he was writing to his parents (and what reason might she wonder?).  Yes, I wrote:  Dear Mom and Dad!  I really appreciate all of your support and encouragement.  I love you both, dearly.  Oh!…That is nice…You are one of a kind. Well, its my standard text lead in … to send me more money!

The Family Circle:   GRANDMA’S  BIG  BOY heading on her birthday gift of a new sweater she knitted for him brought this response after he opened the mailed package present.  Entering the kitchen where mom was making lunch, he said:   BOY! I don’t think I am as big as Grandma thinks I am, Mom. Her heart is in the right place, dear.  After all, you can grow into it but you couldn’t ever wear it if it were too small.  I didn’t think of that.  Grandma is pretty smart, isn’t she!

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