It was hard for me to devise a proper description for this portion of the life of our daughter with the love both Rose and I had hoped to blossom out the full family fullness and hope of someday finding forgiveness. You see, Lydia was born and raised in a devout manner of Christ’s teachings from which, I believe, would have crushed the beauty of her spirit otherwise. What follows might explain her sometimes depressed state in that she abhorred violence that seemed destined in her youth like a plague.
It all began after her first job as an assistant hired to clean and help with filing at the O’Rourke Detective Agency. The agency was located on the 2nd floor of a book store and frequently stayed late to study from the huge book sections which lined it’s walls, even after the store had closed for the night.
She had been witness to arguments by some of the book staff who realized that Lydia had overheard their loose talk exposing the ties to a spy ring out of London and Mr. O’Rourke’s name had come up. She was followed up the stairs by a female member and accost her as she was preparing to close the office. Lydia says she had a gun pointed at her and thought she was going to shoot her right on the spot but apparently decided to force her down the stairs perhaps to kidnap her and dispose of her later. As the grace of the Lord was with her, she was able to trip the woman who fell down the stairs and died immediately from a broken neck.
It was a period of weeks after she had called the police to report in her mind an accidental death. She was afraid. She was taken into custody and questioned relentlessly for hours. She felt she was being followed with that sense of foreboding, not only by the police but by the group that had immediately left the premises and disappeared. Sheer torment. Her dreams had awakened her in sweat as she walked up the steps to have a rope put around her neck. The police did not believe her story although they pretended such. Mrs. O’Rourke vouched for her but the fact that her husband had been murdered being pushed onto a subway track and crushed during an investigation and Lydia had deeply felt sorry for her boss as related during the inquiry. He had gone to London on such business. But the police could find no direct ties with his death or those who worked at the bookstore except on the word of Lydia. Case was filed as open.
All this time, Lydia was schooled with private lessons with Paul. She had, in fact, been invited to the Soviet Union, not for chess, but her musical talent although she did manage to visit with some of the area chess club members and engage in off hand games. This came about through a student exchange program. And the brief month had given her a look at how the Russians felt that socialism was the wave of the future. She had been at a meeting where Putin had been pointed out to her. He was head of the Russian KGB and described as a cunning and vicious man with a pleasant smile. The village reminded her of the English and American life of tranquility. Yet, despite the attempt to persuade the young people attending, in unison did they privately despise the apparent attempt at influence, a few having seen the true conditions as reported by dissidents.
Lydia did not know as related to me whether this group was a hold over from the Nazi days who had been forced through self protection to bond with known communists that had infiltrated countries like Canada, the USA, England, France and Italy prior to and following WWII. Eventually it was to engulf most of Europe immediately following the surrender of Germany. Socialism, the Communist brand, had completely annexed the countries into the Soviet Bloc which launched the Cold War. What the Soviet secret police did not know was that this exposure firsthand given Lydia made her patriotism soar. Both the British Isles and Canada were socialist by nature but it was to stir the juices of hatred for the Soviet Union when the spying apparatus of the Soviets was uncovered. Lydia never confided in me if she had any direct ties to this exposure but she was definitely during that era politically pursuing her government interest and ties that had eventually proved a part of the secrecy of M6 and others. Even I do not know her security clearance status despite her daughter-father relationship.
All through these years, the trauma felt through what Lydia called a necessary murder years before never left her a feeling of peace. Her religious love for life so embedded in her spirit even today she says sometimes finds dreams unwelcome as they seem to periodically return. Whatever other similar occurrences might have taken place she is mum about and I sense she hides any additional feelings from Rose and me. Being sworn to secrecy she has gone into hiding for fear of her life from either friend or foe. But she told me that maybe just having me know the truth, she would find family forgiveness of her past sins. The goal to avenge the death of Mrs. O’Rourke’s husband and partner she was able to fulfill. She remains a private person, agonized by her treatment early on. Yet, she seems to have lain aside all this in the knowledge that Jesus came to save repenting sinners.
What I give is publicly known. She has gone on to raise her family with as much love and peace as God willingly fulfills within her heart. Her husband stands by her as do her children–each of whom is immensely happy and pursuing their own goals in life, none of which is interested in chess outside family play of various board and card games.
I give you, my readers, a testament to heroism of epic proportions although she remains silent on the subject of her past recorded in secret files.