Double Meanings in Humor

Born Today –  Lucky numbers to choose are 2-4-19-33-38-5 but as Aires, I would pick  3-6-18-19-29-38.

PicklesAren’t you going to eat your oatmeal, Nelson?  You said it was what you wanted for breakfast. Yeah.  I didn’t want to eat it but feel it.  Feel it?  Grampa always talks about “feeling his oats” and I see they feel warm and squishy.

Hagar –  We heard you gave yourself a pay raise!  What about us?  Well, if you want to give me a pay raise, that would be okay, too.

Dilbert – Manager:  Make sure you charge 100 per cent of your time to project codes. Are asking my staff to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill the clients?  It is not a crime if you pretend it was an accident.  I learned that as a government employee.

Beetle Bailey –  Pulling KP again, Beetle responds to the mess officer telling him that he should try to stay on his sergeant’s softer side.  I can’t, Sir.  He is sitting on it at his desk. Come to think of it, I wonder if that is why I’ve never been able to do that!

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